slowfedex:

aldestra:

harrysthefather:

we should all have like a secret language. so the fake tumblr people don’t understand. 

like if thereS A WAR GOING ON WE COULD TALK IN CODE. 

LIKE WE COULD CROSS OUT SHIT AND THE TUMBLR PEOPLE WOULD KNOW THATS THE SIGNAL TO HOVER OVER THE POST TO READ THE SECRET MESSAGE LIKE:

i like sour purple nipples

omg

WE SHALL DO THIS

WE CAN BE LIKE NAVAJO CODE TALKERS

abasnail:

that’s what I call a traffic jam

lardypoison:

tiptoeing is so weird MY TOES CAN HOLD MY BODY wow

arkhams:

hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry  youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr

bangniam:

hipster harry takes a selfie.

(x)

(x)

clever-one-word-url:

GUYS MY 10 YEAR OLD BROTHER WAS JUST TELLING BE ABOUT HOW HE KNOWS EVERY GUY’S CRUSH IN HIS CLASS AND H KEEPS TRACK OF IT SO THAT IF A GUY GETS A NEW CRUSH HE GOES AND CALLS THE GIRL AND LETS HER KNOW. HE LITERALLY USED THE PHRASE “I’M IN THE BUSINESS”. 

GUYS

MY BROTHER IS A 5TH GRADE PIMP